"Alice in Computerland"

Alice stared at the box. It was the size of a picture book and opened like one, but would only open once. Alice had heard of others of it's type - big boxes with long pieces of string joining bits and pieces.

Alice blinked. Would she ever be able to understand this magical wonderland.

And just then the fairy appeared and...


Whoa, hang on. I'm not a fairy! I'm a pixie. I'm the "Pixel Pixie."


Yes, it was the Pixel Pixie. She appears as many forms - that cute puppy or kitten or paperclip that shows up from time to time. She does know more that I do about these machines. Perhaps I should let her take Alice on her journey.


And rightly you should. So, let us start with the basics.


Alice blinked again. What were the basics? For she was one of the truely uninitiated (having just appeared suddenly out of an 18th Century socio-political children's novel into the techno-fantasy world of the early 21st Century).

"This," explained the Pixel Pixie, "is a computer."


Ooooooooh.


"Your 'Oooh's' are unnecessary. Yes, it is an awesome machine. Yes, it has a fascinating history, but so does the automobile and so does the printing press and, for that matter, so does the wheel and fire, but they are simply one more in the chain of progress."

"But how does it work?" asked Alice.

"Let us start at the beginning." Suggested the Pixel Pixie. "When the first computer was born their first goal was to make a machine to do mathematics."

"But I'm not good with mathematics." said Alice.

"Well," responded the Pixel Pixie, "then you can be thankful that the computer has gone beyond that. Now the computer is used for art, science, economics, you name it. But beware, for deep in the computer lies a complex beast that, if not understood, can detract from sensibilities, cause unnecessary anguish and undermine bank accounts.

"Consider this machine. You know of the obvious features - the keyboard where you type your commands," said the Pixel Pixie, "the mouse where you direct your desires, the microphone where you speak your words and the speakers where you hear the result. And let's not forget the all important screen where you see the results of your actions. But haven't you ever wondered what happens to your commands?"

"Well, um, no." responded Alice. "Not really."

"I don't blame you" said the Pixel Pixie." Most people don't. They see the computer like any other machine - like a television or a radio or an automobile. But when the mechanic of your car tells you that your headlights need fluid, do you really believe him?"

"I shouldn't?"

"Oh dear." murmured the Pixel Pixie, "well, that I'll leave to my counterpart, the Mechanic Mystic, but let us take the journey..."

Alice dissolved, shrinking, at the will of the wand of the Pixel Pixie, to the size of a speck of dust. And together they entered the wonderland of the computer - in this case, Compaq laptop, through the heat exhaust port and through the fan.

"Oh dear!" exclaimed Alice, "it's most dusty here."

"Yes," agreed the Pixel Pixie. "Sadly this is one of the most neglected places in a laptop computer. More people should make sure their computer ventilation system is properly kept clean, but unfortunately few do. Many a computer has suffered an unnecessary death because the computer cannot breathe, overheats and dies, A simple call to Widget Incorporated, for a few dollars, could save the life of your computer."

"Enough of death, let us continue."

"Agreed," said the Pixel Pixie. "Let us start with the engine room. As I said earlier, the first computers were made for mathematics and, like it or not, that's all a computer does. For the purpose of our journey, let's think of a computer as being a series of rooms. Let's start with the Processor room

"There's only one of them - or at least there used to be one. Now they're making computers with two or four of these rooms and there may be ones with even more than that in the future. Have you heard of the terms 'dual processor' or 'quad processor'?"

"No," said Alice, "I haven't. After all, I fell down a rabbit hole in a pasture in 1700 and something (or was it walking through a mirror, or, come to think of it, there was that guy 'Carroll' who gave me something he called 'opium.')"

The Pixel Pixie. blinked several times while she listed to Alice's story.

"Well, moving right along. The processor does the work in your computer. A dual processor does twice as much work and a quad processor does four times as much work."

"What kind of work?" asked Alice.

"See those guys?" asked the Pixel Pixie, and she pointed to a line of machines holding numbers who. when handed another number, would turn it into yet another number and then, when a clock chimed, would pass it to another machine like them or would hand it to..."

"Memory or disk space!" exclaimed the Pixel Pixie, as though she had pronounced the meaning of life. "But don't get the two confused," warned the Pixel Pixie.

"Why not?" asked Alice. "What is the difference?"

"This is where I become a true pixie," said the Pixel Pixie. "This is where I will save you money.

"There are two concepts here and both are often, mistakenly referred to as 'memory'.

"Let's start with a thought exercise."

"I'm not sure I can do that," exclaimed Alice, "having not thought much at all in my life."

"Well," said the Pixel Pixie, "Let's see how far we can go." She walked across the green circuit board and pointed to a slab of black boxes: "Did you have a dream last night?"

Alice was perplexed. "Uh, er, I guess so." She mumbled.

"Do you remember what it was?" asked the Pixel Pixie.

"No," Alice admitted.

"Good," said the Pixel Pixie, "You've just learnt your first lesson about computer memory. Let's assume that while the computer is turned on it's like your dream - it can remember everything, but when you turn it off, it's like when you wake up. That memory is gone. And, even when you're rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you might remember fragments of your dream, but unless you write it down it's gone forever.

"Back in the early days of computers, sometimes the memory would last, not for a long time, but for a few seconds - it's called "residual memory" and today it can still screw things up. Which is why we recommend that if your computer freaks and you have to totally pull the plug then you give it a few seconds before restarting (a good habit, but maybe this is old school).

"The point is that if you want it to last then, like waking from a dream that you want to keep, you have to write it down. This is disk space.

"Disk space is permanent memory - 'memory' as it's spoken of (or "ram" as it's termed - 'random access memory') is temporary, but disk space lasts forever! (or until you erase it)"

"But," exclaimed Alice, "it's all memory. And what about this 'flash memory' that I hear of?"

The Pixel Pixie drew a deep breathe, as though about to embark on a long journey (for she was).

"The 'Flash Memory' circuit is the only living threat to the traditional 'hard drive' and its story is an old, but interesting one.

"Once upon a time there the chip. And it was good, but it was hard coded - once written there was no way to change it. It was called ROM which stood for "Read-Only Memory." These chips were created from scratch and were unchangeable. Progress came up with a way to change them - we came up with a way to burn the information into the already made chips - instead of having them made from scratch. These chips were called PROMs - 'Programmable Read-Only Memory'

"What more could you want." Alice shrugged, for she had an idea. As full of tea and crumpets as the temporally challenged rabbit and his psychopathic hatter friend had filled her, as experientially intoxicated as she felt, the answer fell fully on her waltesque lips...

"Erasable!" Alice proclaimed with triumph. "We want to be able to erase the memory!"

"Correct!" Exclaimed a new voice. It was the most often heard, yet ubiquitously neglected voice of Flashy - the flash memory chip. Consider him to be the wandering mystic who roams the Kansas prairies, circumstantially redirecting young girls on a crusade to save their puppy from a dreadful fate during inclement weather, but if you think that this is an intolerable cross-mixing of fairly tales then imagine the Mystic Memory Manager to be an ally of the Pixel Pixie.

"I know everything," said Flashy. "Until someone tells me not to. My ancestors," he continued, "had an advantage over the PROMs. They could remember everything until they were exposed to light - ultra-violet light, to be precise. They would lose their memory if they were flashed with ultra-violet light. If you get your hands on an old circuit board then you will see my ancestors with stickers over their heads - they lived in houses with little windows on them.

"And if the curtains of the window were opened then everything the knew would be lost. They were the EPROM - Erasable Programmable Read-Only Memory."

"Now we live in a new age. We live in the age of the EEPROM - Electronically Erasable Programmable Read Only Memory." Said Flashy with some pride. "This is me and we are the greatest challenge to the hard disk. Disky has had the advantage for too long. Ever since the late 1960s has disky held the market. We, the "flash memory" are coming out and we will hold the future! The term 'flash' may have come from the use of UV light to erase our ancestors, the EPROM, but a new light dawns!"

"Putting aside the megolamaniacal tenancies of the flash drive," said the Pixel Pixie, "the distinction between long term and short term memory endures. When your computer claims 'insufficient disk space' then it does no good to increase memory. When your computer bogs down then it does no good to get a bigger disk drive (except that your computer can use disk space for memory but. oh my god is it slow)."

"And this doesn't even include video memory - special memory for the exclusive use of your screen (it's RAM - Random Access Memory - the temporary memory I mentioned earlier)."

The Pixel Pixie led Alice from the depths of the computer. Alice was stunned. "I had no idea that there was so much in a computer." She said. The Pixel Pixie nodded sympathetically. "I guess if I have problems then I should talk to someone who knows before buying anything."

The Pixel Pixie, gave Alice a hug and a tear formed in her eye. "There is so much about computers and you have just taken your first step." she said.

For once in her life, where the computer was concerned, Alice no longer felt in wonderland.